More From The Scribe

Get to Know Your God

Height: 6’4″

Weight: 180 lbs.

Hair Color: Brown, neatly trimmed, parted on the left, or if he’s in a wild mood, he’ll maybe put some gel on the front and spike it up a little.

Facial Hair: Clean shaven

Eyes: Grey

Distinguishing Features: N/A


Parents: Zeus (father) and Hera (mother)

Siblings: Athena, Hebe, Hephaestus, Dionysus, Hercules, Perseus, Artemis, Persephone, Apollo, Hermes

Spouse: Single, but was once in a long-term affair with Aphrodite; other divine, semi-divine and mortal women.

Children: Phobos, Anteros, Eros, Himeros, Harmonia, Deimos, Adrestia, Hippolyta, The Amazons, etc.


Owner of Wares Security Headquartered at the Olympus Administration Building. However, the main operational complex is located a mile or so away on the Olympus Administration Complex.


While I do have a place in the OAB, I primarily live in the penthouse of my security company’s business.

Personal Information

General Overview: History has not been kind to Ares, reporting him to be hated by everyone. Ares is a very passionate person who feels things on a deeply personal level. Because of this, he tends to be a bit hot-headed at times. All these centuries have mellowed him a bit, and he’s not quite as fond of war as he used to be, but he will not hesitate to fight anyone who attacks him or those he’s close to. If he has a weakness, it would be Aphrodite. If he has a flaw, he tends to react instead of thinking things through first, although he is trying to change that.

Deity Nicknames: God of War

Likes: Reading books on military history; watching war movies; working out; driving his classic 1968 Ford Mustang 390 GT 2+2 Fastback (which is midnight blue) (will expand on this as we go)

Dislikes: Seafood; arguments between women (you think men fight dirty? Have you watched women fight? That’s a “claw your eyes out, make you bleed” death match!)

Skills / Abilities

Immortality – Technically immortal. Immune to the effects of aging, cannot die by any conventional means, and is immune to all known mortal diseases and infections.

Babble-speak – Can communicate in all languages and dialects. 

War God – As a War God, Ares is invincible to all sorts of weapons, as well as all types of magic except for those that can hurt him. He has the ability to throw energy balls; cryokinesis (control manipulate ice); pyrokinesis (fire balls); can heal wounds, but not mortals.

Super Strength – Ares has strength that is equal to Hercules, but not as great as his father, Zeus.

Teleportation – Ares has the ability to go wherever he wants by teleporting, but prefers to walk to stay fit, or drive one of his many vehicles. But in an emergency, he will teleport where he is needed.

Limited Shapeshifting – Ares very rarely uses this power (mainly because of how his father abused it), but if the situation warrants it, he will alter his appearance (human form only!).


Normal Daily Wear: Ares’ general attire would be jeans, form fitting t-shirts (to show off those muscles to the ladies), boots. (Ares doesn’t do togas anymore!)

Magical Artifacts/Weapons:

Gun – Ares is fascinated with modern weapons, so he has many in his arsenal. But his favorite is a Sig Sauer p320, which he carries with him most of the time.

Hunting Knife – A special tactical knife that has a special switch that, when activated, can become Ares’ divine sword.

Pendant – A special pendant with a sword and shield design. When touched, Ares can become invisible for a short time.

Historical Synopsis

Ares was the son of Zeus and Hera, but not liked by them or anyone. Known as the God of War, Ares had an insatiable appetite for war. While Athena, his sister, relied more on military strategy, he preferred all the brutal aspects of battle. He had a quick temper, which often got him into trouble with other gods, who saw him as a coward.

Although Hera thought she was a caring and nurturing mother, Ares had other thoughts on the matter. Nonetheless, Ares loved her and went out of his way to help her whenever she was in trouble. His greatest love was Aphrodite, even though she was married to his brother, Hephaestus. Ares was said to be arrogant and cruel, he loved his children very much (except for Harmonia, who he turned into a snake, along with her husband Cadmus).



“Smell that? You smell that? Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like… Victory. Someday this war’s gonna end…” – Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore, Apocalypse Now 1979

Granted, the quote above is from a Hollywood movie, but the sentiment is true. The smell of war is sweet to me. Or, I should say, it used to be.

Don’t get me wrong; I love a good battle as much as the next guy. But sometimes a little peace and quiet is nice, too.

The constant fighting gets old after a while. Even the God of War needs a break occasionally. Honestly, I’m on vacation right now. But Hermes popped in with a letter from dear old Dad, Zeus, who is demanding that I do some public relations work. I’m pretty sure he means damage control in my case. He thinks I like to wreak havoc wherever I go. Well, obviously I don’t, if I’m sitting on the white sands of a beach right now, drinking Mai Tai’s and enjoying the view of beautiful women playing beach volleyball.

I would like to clear up some misconceptions that people have about me. My parents do not hate me. Who do you think helps Mother (Hera) when she is plotting revenge against another woman that Dad has gotten friendly with? And when Dad is really mad at someone, but wants to make it look like the person died heroically in battle? Me, both times. Granted, it does make those Sunday afternoon dinners a bit awkward; I can’t exactly tell them what I’ve been up to, especially if one has asked me to kill someone for the other one.

My favorite sibling is Eris. She always knows how to cheer me up when I’m feeling down. She just causes a little chaos, and then we sit back and watch the destruction. Athena bores me, truth be told. She always wants to plan out every single war. It’s not a game of Risk; every single battle cannot be planned out. It totally ruins the element of surprise, but she doesn’t get that. However, I do agree with her that you mortals have totally fucked things up in the war department. And I will admit that the Trojan War was for a worthy cause: Helen was a beautiful woman. Not saying I spent any time with her or anything, not going to spread those rumors again. It would upset Aphrodite, and I don’t want to do that again. Yes, even the goddess of love gets pissed off, and trust me, it is not a pretty sight when she does.

I could go on and on about all of my siblings, but seriously, there are so many it’s hard to keep track. Let’s cut to the chase here: war is not always about bloodlust or women. It’s about power-hungry men who want it all, and they want it right now. Not tomorrow or next week, but now. After all these centuries, I realize that it just doesn’t work that way. You have to bid your time and wait for the right moment. I mean, look at this guy, Trump. He made a grab for the power, and now he’s got it. But you know what? He probably left a few bodies behind along the way. Remember Tricky Dicky? Limp Noodle Bill (who does it in a closet, by the way? I mean, come on, have a little respect for women here, Bill!)?

My public relations team and I hope to show you that I am not always ready to go to battle at the drop of a hat. Believe it or not, I do enjoy peace. It allows me to chase my other pursuits: sports – I particularly enjoy boxing, football, hockey and baseball; books – there are some excellent writers in this day and age, like Clancy, Parker, Thor (no, not the guy with the hammer), Baldacci; art – I love going to Paris to the Louvre with a beautiful woman by my side (sometimes with Aphrodite, sometimes with other beautiful women I’ve met); or simply a quiet night at home, watching Platoon, The Sands of Iwo Jima, Saving Private Ryan (Tom Hanks is an excellent actor), Steel Magnolias. Don’t be shocked by that last one: I know every single one of you cry every time Julia Roberts dies. Don’t lie to me: I know the truth.

I’m just an average guy, who enjoys a quiet life. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this game of beach volleyball is getting rather intense. Clothes are starting to be removed (not that they were wearing much to begin with), and I still need to choose my dinner date for the evening.

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