It all starts with just a like. Maybe a heart emoji, maybe a retweet. The post someone wrote, atop their moral high ground, and then off it goes into the world. In this great age, no longer is it just the scribes who have something to say. Everyone has a voice, everyone can join the conversation with a quick tap on a screen. It won’t take long before likes or retweets become comments. Comments from people around the globe or next door proclaiming this post – your post – is TRUTH or this post is TRASH, depending on whatever side they have staked out. Pancakes or waffles…coffee or tea…Congress or the President…patriotism or fascism…big or small, it doesn’t matter what the issue might be, because humans like to take sides. It has been their nature since their creation. You can’t have free will without opinions, and everyone has one, like it or not.
I should know. As the Goddess of Rage and Madness, I’ve seen it all through the eons; battles, squabbles, family feuds, blood oaths, sacrifices. From brotherly love to brother against brother, humans are quick to fight for their side. In the past, that suited me just fine, rage is my specialty, after all. The more the humans fought, the more it pleased me. Every battle was a dedication to me, an offering that fed me faithfully in the centuries when the humans forgot the Gods. Rage never goes out of style.
But, as Nina Simone sang, it’s a new dawn, a new day, a new life for me. Don’t be surprised that I like music; humans express their emotions so well in song. When Zeus required us to find our way among the mortals and work in the world, I thought long and hard about what I could offer. It is true that I have a rather unique party trick, as it were, of causing rabies in animals – ask Artemis how that worked out for her sometime – but that seems like too niche a market. No, I will stick with what I know, and what I know is rage and madness. Who better than to help you clean up your social media life than one who knows exactly what makes things worse? Consider me a vaccination, a bit of rage to help you inoculate against the rising tide of social media madness.
R+M Consulting is here to advise, to strategize, to provide guidance for your brand. Having a problem in your city? Warring factions battling at the council meetings? I would be happy to advise a way to clear your path. Your agenda, my persuasive skills. Feeling ignored on social media? No one responds to your witty memes and double entendres? Let R+M take over your feed and jump-start things for you. Your message, our methods. I may be one Goddess, but I have resources that reach out across the Internet, into every computer screen and smartphone app. You don’t have to be a faceless number anymore, not with me in your corner.
Some may question the sincerity of a Goddess of Rage and Madness offering to help smooth tensions for clients. I can understand your skepticism. I suppose ulterior motives are common among the Gods. All I can say is let me convince you otherwise. Don’t let fake news or false prophets lead you away from your best life. Give a Goddess a chance to show you that your way, your take, your side was right all along, just as you said.
Speaking of showing that someone was right all along, I believe I’ll use my re-emergence in the world to settle a few scores. When you are one of two thousand children, you don’t exactly get all the attention you might want. It’s hard for a Goddess to make her name when you aren’t one of the big twelve; the Olympians cast a very large shadow. Humanity and I have that in common.
Even when you move beyond the famous faces, with their beautiful temples and statues, fame and glory seem to have favored some and not others. Mention Ares or Atë, and you will get a knowing nod. Mention Lyssa and most mortals won’t have any idea I was once worshipped and appeased, humans supplicating me, begging me not to bring my wrath upon them. Anonymity is a damn shame and something that I mean to address. Little sisters and little cousins have a way of finding their way into the light, as my relatives will learn. A few of my family members might be surprised to find I am not so willing to take a back-row spot in the reunion photo. Mother Nyx may not like me best, but I am not her daughter for nothing.
First on my list, is to pay a visit to is everyone’s darling, Persephone. If anyone should be the Queen of the Underworld, it is me, and who better to learn from than the Queen in name only, Persephone. Hades doesn’t realize this, but he needs someone who understands the motives and minds of mortals that cross the Styx. What a great and terrible pair we would make, if only he understood that. Now that he isn’t shackled to Miss Springtime, it is time for me to help him understand what an opportunity he has right in front of him. Can you imagine the changes possible when he has someone beside him other than a three-headed dog? Someone who can be an equal partner and share the throne? As Shirley Manson sings, the world is not enough. Zeus may have decreed she was still Queen but that can change, given the proper motivation.
I leave you with this thought, mortal reader, from my old frenemy, Euripides; “Whom the Gods destroy, they first make mad.” Take it from the one who knows, there are lessons to learn from stories. You might want to take a few notes as you listen to mine. I’ll have some stories to tell that will even shock the Gods of Olympus. Are you ready to listen?