Content Warning: Sexual Situations
I clean up, throwing on the clothing Kai gave me. It is a little too big. It hangs loosely off my body, but I don’t care. I prefer my clothing loose if I have to wear any. Exiting the room, I forgo shoes, like always. Even though I won’t be able to feel the earth shifting beneath my feet on the voyage, it’s almost a point of necessity. Kai stumbles behind me, fixing his dreads into a ponytail before catching up. He doesn’t ask where we are going, putting his trust in me. Me. No one should trust me. Not after all the fuck ups.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I push away the negative thoughts. The only thing I can control is myself. It will do me no good to dwell on the past. The point of my sabbatical was to live in the moment, to move forward, but still hope to make amends. Today, I can forget about the list of amends I need to make for a couple of hours.
Arriving in the Lobby of the God Complex HQ, I head to the doors. I get a few glances my way due to the lack of shoes, the loose clothes, or the way my fists are shaking at my side as my emotions vibrate off my body. It doesn’t matter. I am a god on a mission.
As we make our way down the steps, I eye my blue mustang convertible. The roof is always down since I enjoy the wind blowing through my hair. My brothers and I share a love of cars, though my collections are not nearly as extensive as theirs. There is something freeing about driving. It is a way to escape the responsibilities, the ever plaguing doubt, and the regret that coils in the corners of my mind.
Kai and I get into the car and drive off toward the Aegean Sea. There is a dock to the east of Olympus where I have a few ships. I don’t use them much since I prefer using the water to travel, but Kai doesn’t have fins anymore. They were stripped away when he was banished from Atlantis for a crime I have since forgiven. But he won’t accept them back, even if I offer them. His vices differ from mine.
After gathering our supplies, it takes us a few hours to arrive at the docks. We choose one of my smaller boats, loading it up as quickly as we can. A small schooner, it holds a tiny cabin barely big enough for me and a small kitchen. We are silent the entire time, and I find my mind drifting.
Since I opened that door, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. I haven’t allowed myself to drift back to those thoughts since I married his sister and I…lost him. I’ve kept our history, our relationship, a secret. He deserved better from me. No wonder he threw away the key. He should have melted it down into a bullet and put it through my head. Or filed it down to shavings and put it into my food.
“Are you okay?” Kai asks, his brow raised as he observes me rubbing my chest.
I nod, giving a faux smile as I drop my hand. “Wonderful, as usual.”
Kai snorts before fixing the ropes on the sail. His muscles flex as he yanks them tight. “Well then, let’s get going. The wind is in our favor.”
Laughing, I untie us from the dock. “The wind is always in my favor. The Anemoi are old friends. We are going to want to head southeast to the Dodecanese Islands. There should be one covered in mist. Only the eye of a god can spot it.”
Kai nods, adjusting the sail to catch the wind. “So we should arrive by nightfall?”
I lick my index finger, holding it up to feel the wind. Closing my eyes, I can hear the whispers of Eurus and Notus in my ears. “Two days.”
Kai sputters, “Do we have enough food for that?”
I laugh. “We should. If not, you do remember how to fish, don’t you?”
Kai mutters under his breath, “Yeah, yeah.”
I smirk at him before continuing to prep the sails. At nightfall, the water becomes calm, and I control the waves to keep us on course. We lay a blanket on deck, grabbing meats and cheeses from the fridge before settling in. Kai uncorks himself some wine, and I drink my soda as I look up at the stars.
I can’t stop thinking about him, and I need to forget. He wants nothing to do with me. The key proves it. He threw it away and us with it. Though there is no us anymore, there hasn’t been for a long time. Yet, the ache in my heart continues to grow.
Looking over at Kai, I try to distract myself. He is a handsome guy, always has been. His dark skin tone glows in the light. His eyes are always observing, even as he jokes. His strong throat moves slowly as he swallows. My eyes follow the trail of wine from the glass up to his lips. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve taken advantage of the easy companionship between the two of us.
I lick my lower lip, my gaze drifting from his lips to the shirt he left unbuttoned as we lounged. His chest is cut with muscle, his abdomen flexing, covered in a scattering of a dark happy trail. My visual exploration ends at his board shorts. He raises a brow at my perusal. In the light, I see his eyes glow, and his body shift under my focus. He’s fighting it, but he’s already hardening. His shaft is stiff, barely concealed beneath the fabric.
“Po, I know that look,” he says, leaning back on his elbow, feigning a casualness I know he doesn’t feel. “Can’t we just enjoy the night?”
His voice cracks slightly with the question, pushing me away but wanting to draw me closer. Want me to work for it? It has been a while since I have had a good chase, a while since I played. Slowly, deliberately, I lick some jam off my thumb, feeling his eyes following the action. I smirk.
“We are. Are we not?” I ask, my voice dropping to a purr.
Kai nods, lifting the glass to his lips, and taking a hasty swallow as he shifts under my stare. I doubt he knows he’s rolling his hips slightly, rocking them back and forth almost imperceptibly. “We are.”
“Then why don’t we make it a little more fun?” I say, looking him up and down again. He swallows the rest of his wine, placing the glass to the side. When he looks back at me, the energy crackles between us. It doesn’t take much more invitation before I’m straddling his hips, pinning his hands above his head. Placing my mouth to his, my tongue licks at his bottom lip, demanding entry. It takes only a moment before he moans in submission.
Growling into his mouth, my hands fist his hair, imagining it is silken locks rather than dreads. His mouth tastes like smoke and the bitter wine he drank, but in my head, it’s lotus and the sea.
His shirt is nothing but threads of fabric under my hands as he thrusts under me, his hardness rubbing against mine. My mouth moves from his lips to his neck, sucking and biting at his skin. I rip his board shorts off of him, wrapping my hand around his shaft. He throws his head back, helpless beneath me.
He moans and thrashes, trying to get more of me, wanting the release I can provide. My breathing is ragged, consumed by lust. I barely see Kai beneath me, only the man I wish he was. He begs for me, and I oblige, flipping him onto his stomach, grabbing the leftover oil from dinner. Even when I thrust inside him, there is only one name that comes to mind as I continue to ravish him.